Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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