he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
