I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize