we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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