I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
