He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize