Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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