that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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