Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
