We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
