cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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