now i know why i became what i already was.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
