$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
