I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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