I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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