tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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