my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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