She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
