Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
50% drunk capacity currently
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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