TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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