To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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