I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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