Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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