You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
