sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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