he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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