There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
