I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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