Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
