Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize