What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
