Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
