I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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