he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
