Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
