I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
