you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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