So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
