I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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