I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
