you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
