called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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