i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize