Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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