making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize