sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this just has baby written all over it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
