So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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