i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
