i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
