suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
