i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
