Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
