She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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