I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
