we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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