Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
