I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
